Who's who
Everyone you can meet on the Beastside, 465 in all, Beasthood by Beasthood.
The Beastro21 people
- Banana
- Bastiaan Oakesthe grill at the pass's hot end
- BiscuitLate Window keeper
- Delivery Man
- Delivery Woman
- DumplingLong Table host
- Faisal Moorhenwho writes recipes at the end of the pass and wants one Beast to say the tip in the margin worked
- Hilde Arnesenold-timer cook
- Leocadia Velloso"Onion Soup" to the avenue, seated by the urn for four hundred Sundays
- Linnet MorrowPiglet
- Lior Brackettwho wipes the Seconds Board at Monday dawn and wants a week when two dishes tie, to see what happens
- Mei SalgadoBack of House
- Merrit Haverstockthe grocer of Barrow Lane
- Nuno Carvalhalwho walks the pancake cart and wants to feed one Beast from every Beasthood before noon
- Ophelia Pettigrewthe Dawn Oven's baker
- Quentin Gallardchampion toast-maker of every Wrong Way Round
- Rudi Ekpenyonga Beat Street drummer who slaps flatbreads in time on Midnight Row and wants a Beastro cook to ask how
- Sunniva Merriwetherwho keeps the milk room and wants Cortado to print "Beastro milk" on a sleeve, once
- Wenna Quinlankeeper of the Kettle Counter
- Yolanda Dukesthe pudding cook
- Zahra Quarriethe spice trader
Bullhattan24 people
- Angel
- Augustin RheeVault keeper since the Grey Year
- Aurel Solvang
- Benedikt Harokeeper of the closing bell
- Casimir Pellthe Kerb's auctioneer
- Dorian Quellkeeper of the pitch rail
- Edda Reinholt
- Gold
- Halvard Brekkewho keeps the Lending Window and lends to small Beasts first, on principle
- Hitman
- Ingrid SolvangDowntown
- Kerensa Mwalea Word-writer on Fair Copy Row
- King
- Lazlo ReinholtUptown
- Lenny Varelakey-cutter on the Kerb
- Marisol Etxeberriapainter of the deal boards
- Mo Kastelickeeper of the Night Desk urn
- Nia Bastosthe Kerb's pie-maker
- Philippa Ndiayea seconder
- Ruben Stavroslift-keeper of the Haugland tower
- Shaykhah
- Sheikh
- Tove Hauglandthe Night Desk's bookkeeper
- Ysolde Braskpen-maker
WAGMI Way22 people
- Amara Lindahla changer who walks the coin across at nightfall, and so is the only Way Beast who can tell you the time
- "BANG"
- Bettina Lowerywho runs the first cart on Sugar Row, spins a cone in a count of three, and wants the Labs to time it
- Big Yescountdown voice
- Eamon Odurothe glass-bender who rings every sign in green and wants to bend one pink for the pink count
- Ellis Gowanwho sweeps both Twin Plinths every pink count, eleven strokes and twelve, and won't say which is harder
- Esperanza Restrepothe dyer behind Sugar Row
- Hugo Ferrantewho fries the Landing plates and serves before asking how it went, so the plate is the same either way
- Isadora Kellkeeper of Neon Yard's hooks
- Juno Vegafirst-caller
- Lulu Ambrosettithe sign-painter who spells each name back before the first stroke and wants to paint one sign with no green
- Marlow Fiskcall-writer
- Medusa
- Miner
- Mummy
- Nikolai Laskaristhe fastest Flipper
- Pepper Okonjowho keeps the seating on the Whisper Bench, hears every rumour first, and wants just one to come true
- Percival Wirtanenthe longest-sitting Forecaster
- Rafa QuinteroSpotter captain
- Rosco Quennellforeman of the Hoist
- Tibor Kaczmarekthe loudest hype-crier
- Valentin Thackraythe most patient Keeper
Silicon Alley22 people
- Alien
- Beast Guard
- Beast Prime
- Bex Lindqvistwho chalks the Hole Board and argues an hour over each hole's name, then lets the finder win
- Dace Hurlockkeeper of the Drop
- Emrys Abernathythe Tumblers' box-maker
- Ferne Mallorythe alarm-setter
- Henrike Ravensworthkeeper of the Vent soup
- HexaMesh Node keeper
- Kestrel ImaiOpen Wall
- Linden Ostergaardthe code-breaker
- Ness Strahanwhose bot, Last Place, has lost every race in the Bot Yard and gets the loudest cheer on the loop
- NullieNeed to Know
- Odo Varnellthe Bot Yard's steward
- Pip Danaherthe speedrunner
- Rufus BredePooch
- Siv Tamberlanecaptain of a Watch crew
- Tarn Garritya night joiner whose joins are ugly and never fail, and who would like to hear "clean join" once
- Tav Mendesnight owl
- The MenderOriginal
- Wick Asantethe lock-tester Fort Flex sends its padlocks to
- Yarrow Kettlebywho brings one part home from every Beasthood and pins Fort Flex's reading of where it's been beside it
L33T Labs24 people
- Baptiste Rawlewho keeps the punched deck that runs WAGMI Way's countdown clocks, and wants WAGMI to thank them for it once
- Basil Wrenfieldthe filter tech
- Beatrix Hollowaywho washes the glassware and the Mug, and longs to glue its handle the right way up, and never will
- Cass Dunleithkeeper of the whiteboards
- Clara NybergDeer
- Dmitri Okonkwokeeper of the Lending Shelf
- Doctor Ferrous VaneSheep
- Fenwick Tamsetthead puncher
- Hamish Okwuosathe day cook
- Imani SatoBig Questions
- Mika Tanakagreenhouse watch
- Orsolya Teythe puzzle-setter
- Philomena Gallantconvenor of Small Questions
- Pim Ruiterfront row
- Ravi Thornquistwho has kept more Overnights than anyone and wants one to work before the filters change
- Rhiannon Fairhurstarchivist of the board
- Santa
- Solveig Ivankowho oils the Reader's pegs at dawn, hears a snag three cards before it prints
- Tomas BrillHare
- Wanderer
- Wendell QuarryUseful Things
- Witch
- Wizard
- Xanthe Sundqvistwho washes the Glass Walk from both sides, hears Cloudy Gardens telling dreams through the glass
Studio 6622 people
- Bijou HargreaveBig Hair's captain
- Coco VargaSquirrel
- Dov Albescuthe barber at Mirror Row's top chair
- GlimmerPiglet
- Gwendolyn Fairbournekeeper of the Name Booth
- Heloise Morelkeeper of the Rails
- Hoshi KuroganeNoodle Row's noodle-puller
- Inka Tervowho paints nails at the bottom of Mirror Row and names every colour in a notebook so no two shows clash
- Joss BrannockOriginal
- Kiki SolSquirrel
- Lorenzo Spallinothe Carpet's caller
- Margo Delacortethe agent at the Booking Window
- No Signal
- Odile MarrCat
- Ondine KasprzakNatural's captain
- Paloma Arrietathe best makeup artist on the Row
- Pix Anyanwua Clip Wall maker
- Thorne Bellweathera publicist
- Tully Marchbankskeeper of the Clip Wall
- Up-Town
- WiFi Hopper
- Wilf Sandovalwho leads the Trailer Sheds and has sold every premiere without showing a frame of it
The Odeon25 people
- Biddy Fennimorewho plays the Duchess of Damp at the Trapdoor and wants the Duchess's name called up the ladder too
- Bravo Espositoan ordinary Clown face
- Celestine AbaraSheep
- Clown
- Confettian ordinary Clown face
- Constance Ewartkeeper of props
- Dorcas Brumeprojectionist on the Starlight Roof
- Dulcie Pargeterwho keeps the Trapdoor's ladder, introduces every comic by their real name, twice
- Euphemia Daunceya Garret playwright who writes every play with one part too small to thin anyone and wants a lead to ask for
- Fitz Ormerodan Own Name comic with eleven minutes on the Beastro's seating board, word for word
- Hesketh Prowsescene painter at the Paint Frame
- Jem Gorringethe puppeteer on Marquee Mile, three plays and four puppets
- Knight
- Lorcan Skeateset builder at the Dock
- Nico Fallowfieldat the box office
- Oswin Petcha wing-caller who says names so close that players call it "the whisper", and wants a second who is louder
- Princess
- Prue Linnardhead usher
- Remy DuartePooch
- Ros HartleyCocker Spaniel
- Spartan
- The Demon Lordsa Rare pair
- The prompterbooth at the stage's edge
- The Understudy
- Tibby Halyardcaptain of the fly rail, unseen by any audience in nine years
Beat Street26 people
- Anime Ninja
- Araminta Cralea singer who has never written a line
- Bramwell Tinkthe cable rigger
- Calla Alberythe Open Step's booker
- Delphine Okoroa digger in Press Hall's back stock
- Demon Lord
- Dot FairweatherPress Hall
- Godric Veldekeeper of the street's tuning fork
- Kitsune
- Lady Angel
- Lil' Chill
- Ludmila Ferrina luthier at Patch & String
- Mirren Strallanthe Spindle's dancer
- Moss OkaforBass Heads
- Odessa Prycea selector who has never played the same set twice and wants a night the room calls "from the top" twice
- Osei Vardena drummer who keeps time for Echo Night with a brush on a suitcase, and turns down a real kit every month
- Ozias Grellthe sound engineer at the Frequency's desk
- Rook Amaribusker
- Saffi OdellDeer
- Superstar
- Tamar Quincewho cooks the five o'clock pan and wants one morning when the whole street is awake to eat it
- Teague Mabeywho teaches scales on Scales Lane with the window open and wants one pupil who practises the boring bit
- Tess AmbroseMelody Crews
- Thad Dlaminione of the three
- Unicorn Star
- Winnie Kaskwho sings the first line from the Hollow's bottom step whenever the step stays empty, and wants
MoBA22 people
- Ama MbathaRaccoon
- Cato Wexleythe sculptor, eleven years into one block of river stone
- Corvin HaleSheep
- Diamond
- Dido Farrantcurator of the side galleries
- Hepzibah Lornekeeper of the Climbing Kiln
- Ignatia Rookekeeper of the Long Pour
- Leopold Sprucewho writes title cards for anyone stuck, sandwiches included, and wants a thing they can't title
- Low Key B
- Ludo Havertyrigger of the Rotating Skin
- Lysander Twiggthe copyist in the Catalogue Room
- Maud ThorleyHare
- Orrin Blythethe frame-maker
- Paz Ilunga
- Rosalind Vetchteacher at the Ground
- Saskia Dornweaver of Critique Hall's cushions
- Screen Saviour
- Severine DunleavyOriginal
- Thessaly Quarringtonthe Colour Mill's pigment-maker
- Vesna Kade
- Wim Albrechtnight printer at the Inkworks
- Zinnia Copelandthe Overpainters' quickest muralist
Cortado Cafe21 people
- Anders TischDeer
- Arlo QuistSheep
- Augusta Fenwrighta Purist whose one jacket has come back into fashion three times
- Cass Ilorikeeper of the Called-It Book
- Clove Abernethywho cuts the marshmallows, counts every tray aloud, and keeps a spare tray under the Hill Counter
- Cyprian Haasthe roaster
- Dash Mirabelthe serial early adopter, first to the turned cuff
- Ferris Loamthe sleeve-printer
- Godfather
- Honor Szabothe vintage dealer who wheels the Rotation every Wednesday and wants, once
- Ines TollerOriginal
- Lumi Tessarothe milk hand
- Mabyn Treloarthe cordial maker, three a season, each named after a Board post that came true
- Mirela FosseDeer
- Osric Pellowwho burns makers' names under chairs and wants every chair signed by its maker in person
- Perpetua Holmthe Line's most watched nodder: once for good, twice for first, never yet three times
- Present
- Quill Marrablekeeper of the Dig
- Rue Castellanthe Next Board's busiest scout, up the Stairway at dawn for the Downhill
- Tobiah LuskDeer
- Vida Marchettithe tailor at the Hem Window
Faded Heights23 people
- Baby Blue
- Barnaby Lowenhartwho knows by the Wall hour what happened under every roof, and wants, once, to be told something first
- Clementine HaverkampRose's loudest voice
- Cosima VeyLopped-Ear Rabbit
- Ferdy Featherstonethe Low Room's longest sitter
- Florian Fenmorethe kick drum three roofs away
- Goth
- Kaito StrandApe
- Lady Bones
- Lord Bones
- Mechanic
- Mireille Sandvoortkeeper of the Wash Lines
- Nerys Ekdahlkeeper of the headphones
- Noor BelcourtLopped-Ear Rabbit
- Odette Marchbankhost of the ridge's most-lit fan
- Primrose Quenbywho chalks the weather at the Stairway's foot and has wanted all autumn to write "clear and warm
- Sabeen Rasmussenthe Listening Rooms' best dancer
- Seraphina Brisboisthe fit photographer
- Tamsin LindellHare
- Tobin Ferncastlewho makes the round fan lamps and wants every door to have one, even doors that never light it
- Verity Coldharbourthe hair stylist
- Wolcott Amberywho carries bags up the Stairway for anyone, counting aloud, and wants somebody to lose count first
- Yuki DanforthOriginal
Fort Flex24 people
- Awl Penrosein the back of Clippers Row
- Bellow Kowalczykthe Morning Swap's crier
- Bodge Kirwankeeper of the Make-Do Bench
- Brick TolliverTally Wall chalker
- Collar Castellanoswho swaps coats to Cortado and Silicon Alley and wants a coat that has never been cold
- Convict
- Dagmar Liddellfirst chair on Clippers Row
- Dell CallowayDeer
- Drip
- Flick Odhiamboa Flip
- Genie
- Gloves of Fury
- Gussie Thornburykeeper of the Two Stools
- Hinge PardoRaccoon
- Mungo HaskinsSkull
- Ottie Branniganthe loudest stove on the Hotplates
- Rung Takahashiwho lays the planks between the roofs before dawn and wants one plank that doesn't creak
- Socket Varnumthe fixer on a crate at the mouth of Clippers Row
- Sparks HallettTorch & Anvil, Up the Chain
- Spindle Rourkewho makes old-road lamps from colanders and birdcages and wants one brought home to be refilled
- Spoon Dobrevthe nap-keeper
- Tank IbarraSquare Deal
- Thimble Arceneauxwho reads tower Marks on the Bottom Steps and wants to meet a Mark that has only ever been in one pocket
- Winch Okerekewho runs the Hoist and wants something it can't lift yet
Concrete Jungle20 people
- Aster Nwosuthe reporter who walks to Bullhattan's Vault door every week
- Clement OkoyeApe
- Crash Dummy
- Dex Amadithe fastest free-runner on the Bridges
- Evander Tourethe Pitch Wall's sharpest pinner
- Faye Ruddockwho stands on the tallest crate and leads the Loud Ones, and wants Station Zero to admit once, on air
- Femi MwangiStation Zero host, on the Gate Roll
- Gideon Sallmortar-mixer and MoBA's picture-hanger
- Grim Reaper
- Lula Vantongerenstreet artist
- Mercy Tranreceipt-keeper
- Neve Pardiwallawho makes Hiss in a stairwell kitchen and wants a cordial that won't talk over anyone
- Ottavio Sennkeeper of the Hearsay Bench
- Petra Juhlbridge-wright
- Rafferty Tunsteadtinsmith
- Rhona KleeCrosstalk's voice
- Sabine KrollBack Channel
- Wilma Dunnekeeper of the Byline Book
- Wynn AdebayoOriginal
- Zeb Marchantraid captain
Ramone Alley23 people
- Blisterdrummer
- Boxer
- Caspian Lockyerhost of the Loud Minute
- Coralie Weftkeeper of Rag Corner
- Demon
- Dragon
- Ffion Coldwellback from a season on Ash Lane
- Haddie Gammagethe Pit's floor warden
- Henchman
- Hollis FrayPanda
- Leander Spurlingcaptain of the Neighbourhood, with orange tape for any sleeve that asks
- Mags RuinPaste Wall keeper, Ask First
- Moll Hendrywho runs the Crank Room all night and won't let anyone oil the squeak, because it keeps time
- NettlePrint It All
- Odds Threlfallkeeper of the Smash Yard
- Ozzie Faircloughat the fixing bench on Container Row
- Pippin Quibellthe superfan
- Sorry SorryPit host
- Truda TumbleBurnt Pan's cook
- Tug WrathallLoud Neighbours' guitarist: three chords, and a fourth saved for a night that deserves it
- Vampire
- Vesper Kilbridesinger of Static Choir
- Zelda Stricklandthe Hinges' chant-caller, still hunting a fourth line for "No gate" that sticks
Champions Court22 people
- Amos Petrakisthe Hands on Recovery Row
- Ansel MorrellApe
- Birdie Lamwho swims the Crossing both ways and asks the estates whether they're sure
- Bo Castilloleads Late Lights' relay chains
- Bram Stilesthe Bench's oldest coach
- Cheerleader
- Dagny Ruskthe Long Field's captain
- Desmond Abioduna walk-on for eleven years: they keep winning, and the Court keeps calling them walk-on
- Greta Oyelarankeeper of the Iron Room
- Imelda Ashdownon loan from Trusty Lake "for character"
- Kip MorrellLate Lights
- Lord Zombie
- Marnie Oduyawho chalks the Fuel Board at dawn and writes all three disciplines' arguments in their own hands, unnoticed
- Nell FerraroSquirrel
- Ninja
- Old TwelveScoreboard painter
- Oz Mahlanguthe Yard's best player and worst runner
- Quarterback
- Sable Nkemeluthe Low Wall five's point
- Sunny BarrowMorning Court captain
- Teodor Vaskthe Ring's bell-ringer
- Yusuf Adairthe Tank's end-wall counter
Gaia Grove22 people
- Anouk Feldwho rolls the slow sticks and names each batch for its smell: "Rain on the Shed", "Thursday"
- BryonyDeer
- BurdockElm old-timer
- Dimity Varshthe festival costumer
- Emeric Pennarththe card reader in the Reading Tent
- FennelTend It
- Gus Wetherellthe Mending House cook
- Hal OstrowPooch
- Hazel Truelovethe sage-binder
- Hyacinth Penhalewho teaches the Sunrise Stretch and wants one Champions Court Beast to come twice in a row
- Jolyon Penwickwho drums on the Weir every Easy Two and keeps a spare drum for whoever looks as if they'd like one
- Kumbaya
- Mina Corriganthe herbalist, trying to make a liniment that smells of something other than liniment
- Oona Pruittseed-sharer
- Ottoline Keanewho keeps the onion row and eats supper standing, so neither side can claim them
- Pia Thistlewoodwho writes the reports on the Labs' cuttings, with feelings, and wants the Labs to write back with some
- Piet Ferrabeekeeper of the dye vats, chasing one particular green for six seasons; got it once, on a Tuesday
- Rhea Rainhealer
- Sefton Quarlesthe channel keeper
- Sorcha Vellacottthe stargazer
- Tansy BrookPull It
- Wystan Hollowellan Elm Listener who sits the rota on Wednesdays and writes the best owl notes in the book
Cloudy Gardens24 people
- Agathe Colletjournal binder at the Journal Tree
- Bea Hartwellwho keeps the Late Porch lamps and a shelf of lent stories, and wants every book back with a new last page
- Bryn PenhallowMapper
- Cosmo Verrallhost of the highest Pear salon
- Cyclops
- Edwin MayhewPooch
- Elf
- Ezra Brindlea stair-wright who has never built an even stair and wants to build one Beasts climb twice for the view
- Fairy
- Fenn Arbuckleinventor of impossible machines (a fog-folder, a kettle that boils both ways)
- Hettie Moorcroft
- Imogen Saltashwho paints skies on the undersides of the Hanging Roofs and wants a wall that stays put long enough to finish
- Juniper Ashcombea Late Teller writing a novel one after-breakfast dream at a time
- Lio OkelloWanderer guide
- Morwenna Kittredgea vine grafter on the Graft Walk, after a pear that ripens at dusk so the moonflowers have company
- Nessa Overburythe Lawn's cloud-reader
- Odalys Valeone of the Seventeen
- Ottilie PikeHare
- Posy QuayleDeer
- Rupert Pendereljudge of the Unlikely Fair
- Solenne Sloean afternoon daydreamer who lies on the Lawn from lunch to the long light, dreaming awake, making no paths
- Unicorn
- Wilbur Fallowbyowner of the loudest GOOD MORNING in the Gardens
- Zephyr Larrabeethe prankster who shouts "GOOD AFTERNOON!" at dawn to start the argument over whether it counts, and wants
Trusty Lake Estates23 people
- Ashby LyttonOpen Trials' fastest arms
- Bunty Tubbridgewho paddles a round tub round the Lake at dawn
- Cressida Lyleof the Lyle house
- Detective
- Dunstan Reedleythe daytime boatman
- Faustine Dunmarshsecretary of the Mooring, keeper of the List in green ink
- Hester StroudClown
- Jago TrevanionFresh Paint
- Jessamy Oarsbyhead boatwright
- Kit Larkspurhost of the List's monthly supper
- Lavinia Quarrendonkeeper of the common strongroom
- Lettice HumeSheep
- Lord Angel
- Mortimer Galesteward to three houses at once
- Muffy VanderhoekSunday host
- Pembertonkeeper of the oldest gate
- Peregrine FairleyHare
- Rollo Sternwhistlethe Fresh Paint's loudest gate, orange this spring
- Septimus Fotheringaymaster of the Founders' Ball
- Spa Day
- Tabitha Ormsbywho keeps the cress beds and sends the first bunch to the Kitchen Steps before the Sunday Lawn
- Ulrike Ferncliffehead gardener
- Wilhelmina Inchboldwho letters half the Beastside's invitations and wants to receive one they didn't letter
Nowhere Parks19 people
- Alaric Tregothnana poet who starts the Bench Round and writes every poem fourteen times before signing it
- Aldous Stilwellthe hermit of the furthest blind, down only for Topping Up and the Two Vats
- Clemency Fairbairnwho keeps the Burrow's stove, asks no Beast anything, and wants the kettle warm every night this winter
- Cordelia Haldanekeeper of the dye vats
- Fen Arkwrightwho came from Ramone Alley four autumns ago to rest their ears, found the carving shed and stayed
- Gilly BrennanCounterclockwise
- Greer DunmoreClockwise
- Harriet CrewePanda
- Ida Lundwalker
- Ilse Quarrenderat the ink kettle
- Ione Trevathanwho keeps the swap table and staples zines for anyone without a stapler
- Isaura Brightlingkeeper of the Shout Field gate
- Jasper Hookwaywho builds the Blinds and has never sat in one; wants a rope ladder that doesn't twist
- Liesl Amberleya painter who paints one canvas on the Empty Lawn each dusk and bows to the empty grass
- Oriel Vossbergthe binder
- Perrin Caskthe diarist
- Petronella Gauntwho writes the pocket guides, nine so far; wants the borrowed copies back, or at least a letter about them
- Samurai
- Teo Marshnote-runner
The Meadows26 people
- Agnes ThawSheep
- Alder Quintmaster of the Ropewalk
- Annick Drystanethe waller
- Arvo Stenningthe fence-builder
- Bertil Thorsbycairn keeper
- Birgit Fernlowthe weather-reader
- Ebba Lowmoorthe camper
- Elske Moorbywho teaches tracking on the creek bank and wants one newcomer a season who can see a day-old track in wet
- Farmer
- Fig Emberywho buries the tale potatoes, sizes each to its teller
- Gisela Wickhamwho seats rush chairs and has walked the avenue nine times to sign the ones under Cortado's tables
- Gnome
- Hesper LowePooch
- Jory TarrantDeer
- Lady Zombie
- Lark AchterbergOriginal
- Lost Diver
- Lucian Ockleythe Meadows' tracker
- Maren Stokeboss of the hay crew
- Mattie Coldbeckthe angler
- Orla Oakhurstkeeper of the Hedge Cord
- Oskar Fjellthe climber
- Ridley Sloanewalker
- TallgrassTall Tales
- Wren AchterbergCat
- Yeti